15 Retro Etiquette Rules That Sound Ridiculous In 2025

In the year 2025, where people wear pajama pants to brunch and text during weddings without shame, it’s wildly entertaining to glance back at the etiquette rules that used to dictate our every social move.

Believe it or not, there was a time when crossing your legs the “wrong way” could raise eyebrows, and saying “bathroom” in polite company was basically scandalous. These weren’t just quirky suggestions — they were full-blown societal commandments, enforced by nosy neighbors and dusty etiquette books.

From never calling someone after 9 p.m. (because apparently, sleep was sacred) to wearing gloves just to go shopping (who were we, royalty?), the rules of yesteryear were intense, precise, and hilariously outdated by today’s standards.

So grab your monocle and straighten your hat — we’re diving into 15 retro etiquette rules so delightfully absurd, they’ll make you grateful for casual Fridays and emojis. Let the vintage madness begin.

1. Never Call After 9 PM (Or You’re Basically a Criminal)

Once upon a time, calling someone after 9 PM was the social equivalent of causing a neighborhood scandal. It wasn’t just about being polite; it was an unspoken rule that separated the considerate from the social outcasts. Can you imagine waiting until the clock struck 9:01 to dial your best friend?

Today, with instant messaging and social media, reaching out at any hour is just how we roll. Emergencies aside, people back then would gasp at the thought of receiving a text at 11 PM. Now, we’d probably serenade you with a meme instead.

Rethink how late-night communication rules have relaxed over the years. While some cling to early bedtimes, the notion of late-night telephone taboo has mostly been put to rest. Our digital age has given us the freedom to connect and communicate whenever inspiration (or desperation) strikes.

2. A Lady Must Never Cross Her Legs at the Knee

In yester-century, a lady crossing her legs at the knee might as well have been dancing the Charleston in her skivvies. It was believed that only ankles should meet, keeping knees apart to maintain one’s ladylike mystique.

Fashion has since evolved, allowing for a more relaxed approach to sitting. Imagine trying to balance in a modern meeting without the occasional leg cross. Ankle crossing was once an art, but now it’s just uncomfortable.

This bygone rule highlights the absurdity of old fashion constraints. Pants, skirts, or kilts, today’s world has embraced comfort and style together. Knees have been liberated, and we can all sit a little easier knowing we’ve left such restrictive decorum behind.

3. Men Must Always Walk Curbside to “Protect” the Lady

In the days of horse-drawn carriages and cobblestone streets, men walked curbside to shield their companions from splashes and debris. It was a gesture of chivalry, protecting ladies from rogue mud and horse-drawn hazards.

Fast forward to today, where the only splashes we face are from puddles or poorly parked cars. The rule is less about protection and more about nostalgia for a time when knights in shining armor were a real thing.

Chivalry hasn’t vanished; it’s just evolved. Sharing the sidewalk wherever seems logical is the modern norm. While the gesture remains sweet, today’s partners prefer equality over antiquated gallantry. No more poop dodging required.

4. White Gloves Are Mandatory for Formal Occasions

Once, donning white gloves was an essential part of attending any formal event. They were more than just a fashion statement; they were a symbol of elegance and decorum.

Imagine trying to shake hands or hold a martini with gloved fingers. Today, it would seem more like a costume party than a formal gathering. Gloves now remain in the realm of costume balls and royal processions.

In 2025, the rigid formality has softened, with comfort and practicality winning the day. Gloves, while classy, are no longer a necessity. Formal affairs now embrace the personal touch of bare fingertips, letting personality, not gloves, define the occasion.

5. Don’t Show Your Ankles, They’re Too Risqué

Ah, the scandal of seeing a woman’s ankles! The risqué notion that a peek at the ankle could upset the social equilibrium sounds absurd today. Back then, ankles were the knees of their time—taboo and tantalizing.

In our world of mini-skirts and shorts, flashing an ankle seems laughably innocent. Yet, it serves as a reminder of how far fashion freedom has progressed.

Showing a little ankle might have once summoned scandal, but today, it’s just another part of the ensemble. The liberation from such constraints is a celebration of fashion evolution, one ankle at a time. Victorian ghosts, begone!

6. Never Say “Pregnant” in Public — Use “In a Delicate Condition”

There was a time when the word ‘pregnant’ was too indecent for polite conversation. Instead, one would say ‘in a delicate condition’—a euphemism that sounds more like a medical emergency than a natural state.

Nowadays, we can discuss pregnancy openly, celebrating the journey without cloaking it in flowery language. Thank goodness for the stork, though, keeping things whimsical.

In 2025, we embrace directness and respect for women’s experiences. The delicate condition has matured into a powerful statement of life, no longer hidden behind whispers. Progress means talking openly and honestly about the miracle of life.

7. Always Remove Your Hat Indoors, Except Women, Who Never Remove Their Hats. Ever.

Hat etiquette was once a labyrinth of do’s and don’ts, especially indoors. Men had to remove their hats, while women kept theirs on, defying logic and confusing the masses.

Now, hat etiquette is as flexible as your favorite baseball cap. The rules have relaxed, and hats have become a personal choice, not a social obligation.

In 2025, the only rule for hats is style over necessity. The hat dance of yore has given way to personal expression, with heads held high, covered or not. A coin flip is no longer required to decide your headwear fate.

8. If You Drop Your Glove, a Gentleman Must Retrieve It and Possibly Propose

Dropping a glove in the past was akin to throwing down a gauntlet of flirtation. A gentleman retrieving it wasn’t just being chivalrous; it was the first step towards a potential proposal.

Today, dropping a glove might get you a friendly nod, not a lifelong commitment. The romantic contract has been replaced by more direct forms of expressing interest.

The glove retrieval tradition has faded, leaving room for genuine connections without the theatrics. A simple dropped item now leads to friendly help, not an accidental engagement. Less drama, more authenticity.

9. Writing in Red Ink Was Considered Rude and Hostile

Red ink, once reserved for correcting errors, carried connotations of hostility and aggression. It was the CAPS LOCK of handwriting, turning even the friendliest note into an act of war.

Today, red ink is just another color in the stationery rainbow. It’s used for emphasis, not enmity, and no longer causes social distress.

In 2025, red ink has made peace with its past, now heralded for its vibrancy rather than its hostility. The once-dreaded color has found its place in the colorful tapestry of written expression.

10. A Lady Must Never Raise Her Voice in Public

Women were once expected to speak in gentle murmurs, adhering to a social script that stifled their voices. Raising one’s voice in public was unthinkable, a breach of femininity.

Now, women speak freely, confidently, and without constraint, wielding their voices as instruments of empowerment. Louder is often better.

In today’s world, the right to raise one’s voice is celebrated, not censured. The power of vocal expression has been reclaimed, allowing all voices to be heard loud and proud.

11. Men Must Always Stand When a Lady Enters the Room

There was a time when men were expected to stand whenever a lady entered the room—a practice rooted in respect and reverence. It was a gesture of politeness that, today, might lead to a few awkward get-ups and sit-downs.

Today, such gestures are reserved for special occasions or grand entrances. Everyday interactions no longer require this constant vertical dance.

Standing for a lady has shifted from a rule to a choice, reflecting mutual respect rather than enforced tradition. The gesture remains charming in its context but is now more personal than prescriptive.

12. You Must Wait 3 Days to Call After a Date

The infamous three-day rule haunted many a hopeful romantic, dictating that one must wait three days before calling after a date. The reasoning behind this arbitrary time frame remains a mystery, shrouded in dating folklore.

In the digital age, waiting is out, and instant communication is in. The rule has been tossed aside in favor of more direct connections.

In 2025, dating dynamics have evolved, embracing immediacy over mystery. The three-day window has closed, allowing relationships to progress at their own pace, free from outdated constraints.

13. Never Butter Your Entire Slice of Bread at Once — That’s Barbaric

Once, it was considered uncivilized to butter an entire slice of bread. The proper way was to break off small pieces, butter them individually, and enjoy them one bite at a time.

Today, slathering butter across the whole slice is a joyful liberation from meticulous manners. Bread is delicious, why wait?

In 2025, mealtime etiquette embraces efficiency and enjoyment. Whether you butter in bits or boldly coat the whole slice, the choice is yours. Civilization will survive, even if the bread is fully buttered.

14. Sending a Thank You Note Was Not Optional — It Was a Moral Obligation

Thank you notes were once the backbone of polite society, expected for even the smallest gesture. Whether you received a gift or a simple favor, a handwritten note was obligatory.

Today, a quick text or email suffices, streamlining gratitude without losing sincerity. The thank you note has found new life in the digital era.

In 2025, the art of gratitude has evolved, valuing authenticity over formality. While handwritten notes still charm, modern expressions of thanks are more flexible, embracing new mediums and genuine emotion.

15. Saying “Bathroom” Was Vulgar — Say “Powder Room” Instead

Once, the word ‘bathroom’ was deemed too crude for polite society. Instead, one would refer to the ‘powder room,’ as if a quick freshen-up was the only activity taking place.

Today, we openly acknowledge the existence of bathrooms without blushing. Powder rooms are now more about decor than discretion.

In 2025, language has matured, embracing the reality of everyday functions. The powder room remains charmingly anachronistic, while the bathroom stands proudly in its practicality. Language has shed its coyness, speaking plainly about life’s necessities.